How to Say "Thank You" Effectively

How to Say "Thank You" Effectively
by Jim Cathcart, founder, 101 Leaders Institute

The way to tell if your "thank you" message worked is to determine whether the recipient feels thanked. It is not important whether we "say" thank you. What matters is whether the person we thanked actually felt our gratitude. People who feel our thanks tend to be more likely to assist us again.

In fact, it is known in psychology that a person will feel more beholden to you if they do something for you than if you do something for them. Confusing isn't it? You'd think that by doing something for someone else, they'd respond with a feeling of gratitude or "I owe you one." But that's not how it works in the human emotions. We actually feel more connected to the people we have helped than to those who have helped us. So, our actions have a stronger impact on our feelings than the actions of others do. With that in mind, let's look at some effective ways to assure that people know you are grateful.

1. Call and thank them
2. Note specifically what they did that you are grateful for and why it matters to you
3. Write a thank you note to them personally
4. Acknowledge them with a toast at a dinner or reception
5. Thank them in a board or committee meeting "on the record"
6. Make a personal appointment with them and tell them what you appreciate
7. Send them an email thank you card or message
8. Send a greeting card
9. Arrange to have a total of three people thank them in various ways
10. Send a formal letter of thanks on your stationery
11. Give them a certificate, plaque or gift to commemorate their contribution
12. Provide a plaque that has a space for updates showing the year(s) of giving
13. Invite them to a lunch, breakfast or cocktails as a thank you
14. Provide them with attendance at a VIP event to show your gratitude
15. Find out what they love and give something related to that
16. Ask them or one who knows them, "what is the most special gift they ever received?" Give something like that
17. Ask them to do something more. Show that you want to keep them involved
18. Call and seek their advice and remind them how much you value their input
19. Hold a meeting where everyone brainstorms creative and non traditional ways to say "Thanks!"
20. Add the giver's name to a list of donors, contributors or key supporters
21. Do something permanent so they know you mean it.

The Golden Rule says we should "do unto others as we would have them do unto us" but they may not be like us. So, do what Tony Alessandra calls "The Platinum Rule": "do unto others the way others want to be done unto." Treat them the way THEY want to be treated. Thank them in the ways that they consider to be gracious and grateful.

In the final analysis what matters is whether they consider that you have appropriately thanked them. If you have then the transaction is momentarily complete. Now reconnect with them and start a new activity.

copyright 2006 Jim Cathcart