Sherwood Parlor Series- The lost art of discussion

In the ancient days before television a practice flourished that was known as Discussion. In fact, people even hosted what were known as Discussion Salons. These were typically in someone's living room and the program for the evening was simply a lively dialogue among the participants.
Occasionally today we have great discussions with our friends and colleagues, but today it is less likely to be planned, and therefore less likely to occur at all. I say it's time to reverse the trend.
Let's get together and talk.

A few years ago my wife Paula and I moved to a new community. This one was 150 miles from our previous home and we didn't know many people. I found the uncertainty stimulating and decided to do something about it. So I contacted the Sherwood Country Club where we had moved and asked if they'd like for me to host a "Parlor Discussion Series" for the members and residents. They enthusiastically agreed. The club provided the location and catering. The attendees paid a small fee to cover expenses and I provided the topics, the special guests and the leadership of the meetings. (This may be something you can do in your home area.)

Evidently there was a thirst for "interesting discussions among interested people" because we had more people than our venue could accomodate at the first event. The topic I chose was "Friendship" and I invited one of my colleagues who had special insight into the friendships between Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Harvey Firestone and Charles Lindberg.
About 26 people attended and we set up the room like a big living room with an oval of couches and armchairs.
I introduced my guest and told the group that the rules of our Discussion Parlor Series were few and simple: 1. treat this as your living room, relax and be yourself, and 2. be nice to each other.
They laughed in approval and we began the discussion. We talked about: how friendships are formed, types of friendships, the life expectancy of a friendship, what made them grow and/or dissolve, etc.

Since that time I've hosted 17 "Sherwood Parlor" events in almost five years.
We have had a fascinating assortment of guests and topics.

Prior topics have been:

• Friendship,
• Mentors & Role Models,
• What Motivates People?,
• Can Optimism Be Learned?,
• The Importance of Laughter,
• Leading in "Fast Time",
• The Importance of Stories,
• Adding Show-Business to Business,
• How To Cultivate Curiosity,
• Negotiation,
• Inspiring Yourself & Others,
• Why People Succeed,
• Creating The Future,
• Music Matters,
• Thinking About Thinking,
• and The Four Seasons Way (learning what makes a Luxury Hotel)
  

Guests have included: Bob Hope's chief comedy writer, Gene Perrett, Shuttle Astronaut, Col. Rick Searfoss, and an assortment of musicians, writers, speakers, executives, philosophers, etc.

This is not a speech atmosphere, nor does it require any special preparation.

In fact my guests usually only speak for a few minutes before we open to floor to everyone.

These are informal "living room" chats with a group of anywhere from a dozen to two dozen people who live here in the area.

The meetings convene at 5:30pm and adjourn promptly at 7:30pm so that everyone can still make dinner plans for after the Parlor. Starting and ending on time is vital. If you conduct an event like this the attendees will expect you to stick to your times and to keep the events interesting.

One way I keep things lively is by taking as much interest in the attendees as they do in my guest. I ask everyone for their opinions, questions or stories. Sometimes they are more fascinating than my special guests! At the end I summarize a few key points or ask the audience to do that for me. Then we go to dinner with my guest and invite the others to join us "dutch treat" if they wish. Usually about 1/3 of the participants will join our dinner party. We simply go across the street to the Tennis Club Dining Room and take as many tables as are available. It's an informal and spontaneous gathering, but it's always fun.

I encourage you to find some folks you would enjoy talking with, select a few fascinating topics, and schedule a parlor discussion of your own. You don't need to make a series of it, but you can if the interest is there. Let's get together more often and just talk.